For Life
by writeallnight
Summary: A Densi date night turns out to be slightly less than romantic. And it's probably Kensi's fault. Deeks whumpage inside!


A/N: So...remember a couple days ago when there was that article making the rounds about the guy in California who punched an older gentleman over a disagreement about Nutella samples at Costco? Apparently the muse can strike from anywhere. Enjoy the fun!

* * *

"Oh my god. You have to stop," Deeks said, his eyes darting nervously around the room.

"Would you relax? Everything is fine," Kensi assured him. "Do you want another meatball?"

"Kens, this is our third lap around the store. People are starting to stare," Deeks hissed.

"I don't see a sign saying 'one sample per customer.'" She grabbed his arm. "Come this way. I want to try those frozen yogurt cups again."

"Of course there's no sign. It's just one of those life rules like 'don't eat gum off the sidewalk' and 'change your underwear every twenty four hours'," Deeks complained.

"Ooh, they refilled the salsa samples!" She swiped several from a nearby cart.

Deeks winced. "Do you really need four of them?"

She glared at him. "Are you calling me fat?"

"No!"

She punched him in the arm.

"Ow! I said no!"

"You're ruining our date!"

"What date? This isn't a date! This is grocery shopping!"

"It is a date! We're not buying anything!"

"That makes it worse!" he cried. "You're basically stealing from the store!"

Kensi rolled her eyes. "They're _free samples_. There's no caveat that says you have to purchase anything."

"I give up!" Deeks threw his hands into the air in frustration. "You stay and eat for as long as you want. I'll be in the car."

"Fine with me!" Kensi turned and marched over to a stand with small cups of trail mix.

Deeks shook his head. His girlfriend was crazy. He headed for the sliding doors at the front of the store, intent on making good on his threat, but he turned back when he heard Kensi's voice raised in clear irritation.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

A burly man with a cart full of paper towels and diet Mountain Dew glared at her from the other side of the trail mix stand. "I said, I think you've had enough lady. I've seen you going around the store all night. You don't even have a shopping cart!"

"I don't think it's any of your business how many samples I take," Kensi shot back.

"Yeah, it is my business when you don't leave anything for anybody else!" the man was starting to become red in the face.

"I'm sorry, the six servings of trail mix left on this tray aren't enough for you?"

"It's the principle you b—"

"Hey!" Deeks cut the man off, stepping in between him and the cart. "Let's all just calm down here, all right?"

"This isn't your business surfer boy," the man growled, his eyes still fixed on Kensi.

"Well, actually, sir, it is my business because this charming lady with the voracious appetite is my girlfriend," Deeks told him calmly.

"Oh, she's your problem? Well, why don't you keep her in line, Shaggy? She's eating the whole world up here!"

"Hey! I can keep myself in line just fine!" Kensi retorted.

"Doesn't look like it from where I'm standing!"

"Okay," Deeks took another step toward the man, attempting to restart the negotiations. "Let's all just take a breath and—"

The fist coming straight at his face was a surprise despite his years of training. It sent him staggering backward, his hands automatically covering his nose where the blow had landed.

"Deeks!" Kensi's eyes widened in horror and then fury flooded her veins. She turned her gaze to the man, seething with rage. "Put your hands behind your head and get down on your knees."

"You need to shut your mouth!"

Kensi moved so quickly he never saw it coming. Grabbing his arm she twisted it, pinning the limb behind his back. "On your knees!"

"Ow! What the hell lady?"

"That's Agent, jackass, and you just assaulted an LAPD detective. You're under arrest now get on your knees!" she punctuated this statement by shoving her foot into the back of his leg, forcing him to the floor.

"Anything I can help with?" a security guard, alerted by the noise and the increasing crowd of onlookers, joined the fray.

"Special Agent Kensi Blye, NCIS. Cuff this guy and get LAPD down here." She glanced at her partner. "And an ambulance."

Leaving the offender in the hands of the security guard she moved to Deeks' side. "Are you okay?" she asked anxiously.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good," he removed his hands and Kensi's eyes widened when she saw how much blood was flowing from his nose.

"Deeks, sit down," she said.

"Kens, I'm fine," he took a step toward her and swayed dangerously.

She reached for his arm to steady him. "Babe, just sit down, until the paramedics get here all right? You're bleeding all over the floor."

He looked down and saw the bloodspots she indicated on the concrete. "Yeah, okay. That might be a good idea."

The paramedics and LAPD arrived in short order. The LAPD officers took their new friend several aisles over for questioning, while a red-haired paramedic went to work on Deeks.

"Deeks, just sit still," Kensi ordered as the paramedic tried to examine his nose.

"I amb," Deeks said, his voice thick, as if he had a cold. "But itb's hard to breathe."

"Just try and inhale slowly sir," the paramedic told him as she reached for more gauze.

"Well, well, well."

The sound of Sam's voice had Kensi and Deeks looking up to see both of their fellow agents coming toward them. Sam's face had split into a wide grin while Callen's held the smirk he reserved especially for Kensi and Deeks related issues.

"What are you doing here?" Kensi asked.

"We heard there was a food related altercation and figured you two would be at the center of it," Sam said, clearly amused by the situation.

"Haha very funny," Kensi said with a scowl.

"LAPD called when they heard it was you. You want to tell us what you did that got Deeks' nose re-modeled?" Callen asked.

"It's nobt her faulbt," Deeks spoke, even though the paramedic had tipped his head forward in an attempt to stop the bleeding. "I shoulbd hab seen ibt combing,"

"Sir, you need to be quiet," the paramedic insisted.

There was scuffling behind them and they turned to see two LAPD officers escorting their new friend out of the store. "She was taking everything!" he roared.

"Hey!" Kensi jumped to her feet. "I was not!"

"Kens, Kensi," Sam held up a hand. "Take a breath. Let LAPD handle it."

Kensi huffed but sank back down next to Deeks, continuing to glare at the offender's retreating back.

"I think the moral of this story is that Deeks needs to plan better dates," Callen suggested.

"Kenbsi picked ibt," Deeks informed them.

"You came on a date to Costco?" Sam asked. "Really Kensi?"

"The samples are free!" Kensi cried.

The paramedic interrupted them. "All right, sir, your nose is definitely broken. You'll need to come with us."

"Sounbds greabt," he raised his head, blood still oozing from his nose.

"You're going to look like a raccoon Deeks," Sam told him.

"A very shaggy, un-showered raccoon," Callen added.

"Thanbk you all for your subport," Deeks said.

Sam put a hand on his shoulder and chuckled. "Anytime."

* * *

"Have I mentioned that I'm sorry?" Kensi asked as she handed Deeks the ice pack she'd retrieved from the kitchen.

"A couple times, yeah," he grunted as he pressed the cold compress to his face and leaned back against the pillows. "It's okay Kens. It wasn't your fault."

"It was definitely my fault," she tenderly brushed the curls from his forehead. "And I'm really sorry."

"Kens, I'm good," he reached for her hand and squeezed it. "The doctor said it's not that bad."

He lowered the ice pack and she leaned in carefully for a kiss.

She pulled back, looking at him sympathetically. "Sam was right. You are going to look like a raccoon."

"But a cute raccoon, right?"

She quirked a smile. "Let's just say, it's a good thing raccoons mate for life."

* * *

A/N: Leave your love in the reviews!


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